Albel's Ophelia
by crematosis
Summary: Taken from a scene from Hamlet with Polonius and ophelia and then drastically sillified, not to be taken too seriously.


A/N: Really, I've been reading waaay too much Shakespeare lately. Hamlet, Macbeth, Othello…bleh. Not that anything's wrong with Shakespeare…I actually enjoy it…but I'm starting to think in Old English. XD Anyway, this is kind of a variation of the scene in Hamlet with Polonius and his daughter…so I decided to make it with Adray and Clair. XD and Albel is Hamlet….and then the other characters are randomly thrown in ther. XD but don't take this too seriously…it's not really like hamlet.

Disclaimer: I do no own the plot of hamlet…and really, it's not the plot of Hamlet…just vaguely like hamlet...but with no deaths. XD

Clair skipped along home, only vaguely aware that skipping was probably out of character. She pushed open the door with one hand, still holding a stick of candy in the other. "I'm back," she announced loudly.

Adray walked in from the other room. 'What's this? Candy?"

Clair shrugged indifferently. "Lord Albel gave it to me, whilst we were out at the lake."

Adray frowned. "I thought you were out enjoying yourself with your friends."

"Lord Albel is a friend," Clair said calmly, licking the stick of candy.

"Lord Albel is a man," Adray said firmly.

"Yes, and I think he fancies me," Clair said matter-of-factly.

"Fancies you? Bah, don't be such a dull girl. He doesn't fancy you. He doesn't fancy anybody. And even if he did fancy you, he is Lord Albel, captain of the Black Brigade. And you are simply Clair Lasbard. No, my girl, you cannot possibly marry him."

Clair pouted. "You're saying I'm worthless?"

"No, I am simply reminding you that he is like royalty. He'll probably marry some princess or other."

Clair rolled her eyes. "You always want me to find a husband, but as soon as I find one, you don't approve."

"There will be plenty more men for you, and in the meantime, I must ask you to discourage his advances. Act not like you care for them. He may fancy you in fact, but he can never marry you and I can't see you break your heart like that."

"Oh, as you will it," Clair grumbled. "I'm going to go chat with Nel."

-----Scene Change-----

Adray was comfortably reclining in his easy chair, thinking to himself how fortunate it was to have his daughter nearly married off before he had reached old age when Clair burst through the door, looking excited.

"Father, Lord Albel is coming down the road. I think he's coming to propose and carry me off."

Adray sat up with a start. "He's coming here? Well, I must have been wrong about him. Well, as soon as he knocks, open the door."

A loud rapping noise was heard on the door and Albel shouted with a cowboy-ish drawl, "You better let me in!"

Clair quickly rushed to the door and swung it open, plastering an overly happy smile on her face.

Albel scowled as he entered the house. He removed his hat and glared at Adray. "I need to speak a word with you."

"Well," Adray said hesitantly. "I realize now that you love my daughter-"

"I don't love her," Albel growled.

"Aha, I thought so!" Adray said triumphantly.

"I don't understand," Clair muttered. "First you thought so, then you thought not, and now you think again."

'Stay out of this, Clair," Adray said. "I don't want you to get hurt when fighting breaks out."

"I hate your daughter,' Albel growled. "First she acted like she liked me, then she acted like she hated me."

"Well, that was my idea," Adray admitted. "I told her to keep away from you so her heart wouldn't break when you rejected her."

Albel shrugged indifferently. "I don't really care. That's not why I came. I need a character witness."

"A what?"

"I need someone to witness about your character before I accuse you."

"I'll testify to my father's character," Clair announced.

Albel shoved her back. 'Someone unrelated to him."

Albel looked around restlessly until he spotted a slim girl with blue hair bringing in a tray of teacups. "She'll do," Albel announced, grabbing the girl's arm and roughly yanking her to his side.

The girl yelped and the tea clattered to the ground.

"Alright, take off your dress," Albel growled.

The girl turned pink. "But-"

"Take it off!' Albel snapped.

"Don't impugn her honor," Adray hissed.

"She hasn't any honor to impugn," Albel snarled. He grabbed a hold of the front of the girl's dress and he ripped it.

Clair gasped in horror and scuttled backwards. "She's a man!"

"Yes," Albel growled, glaring at Adray. "He's running a fake bride business, marrying off poor helpless "girls" to some unsuspecting men who end up with other men."

Albel glared at the naked servant, trying to hide behind a table. "You, what's your name,"

"Fayt," the boy squeaked out.

Albel turned back to glare at Adray.

"Really, it's the only way they'd ever find love," Adray stammered. "Poor things wanted a husband so I arranged it."

Albel snorted. "Luckily for you, I still like Fayt anyway and I'll marry him. But as for the rest of this operation, I'm shutting it down. Now, come on, Fayt." He grabbed Fayt's hands and began pulling him towards the door.

"But Albel-" Fayt protested.

"What? I thought you wanted to go with me."

"I do. But…I don't have any clothes on."

"Oh. Right, we'll go as soon as I find Fayt something to wear."

Albel dragged Fayt upstairs into Fayt's bedroom. Fayt pouted and sprawled out across his bed as Albel began pawing through his closet.

"Albel," Fayt whined. 'Do we have to-"

Albel turned and saw Fayt lying across the bed and he smirked. "No, love, we don't have to leave quite yet."


End file.
